Nolesmarlins' Power Rankings

Imagine how good the Marlins rotation would be if we still had Penny and Beckett.

1. Detroit: Just disgusting. Kicking a$$ and taking names. The Tigers are a winning machine. Start printing those playoff tickets.

2. Los Angeles of Anaheim: Almost up there with the Tigers, but they need to improve their offense, especially in the power department. If they don't solve that problem by the deadline, they will in the off season when they inevitably get Arod.

3. Boston: I would question whether Josh Beckett has the makeup and the experience to lead a pitching staff in the playoffs, but then I remember how sick he was in 2003 for the Fish.

4. Los Angeles: Brad Penny is pitching the lights out, and they might have found something special in James Loney.

5. Cleveland: I think they should try to make a deal for Livan Hernandez. How ironic would that be... and he would really help this team. They really could use another innings eating starter. Imagine Livan coming to Cleveland and leading them to the title ten seasons after he helped beat them.

6. Seattle: They need to pull off some sort of trade deadline coup if they expect to take the Angels for the division, but they still have the talent right now to sneak past the Indians for the wild card.

7. New York Mets: Lastings Milledge might be of some use after all. This team has really no need to trade for another starter, remember they have Pedro coming back.

8. Chicago Cubs: They have definitely turned around their season, but as it stands now they won't catch Milwaukee.

9. San Diego: Need a hitter even worse than the Angels. It would be a shame if this team doesn't make the playoffs, they have the pitching staff to go very deep into October.

10. Milwaukee: Losing Ben Sheets to the DL doesn't help one bit, but he will be back. Look on the bright side, he will be fresher by the time the playoffs come around.

11. Atlanta: Chipper Jones just caught on fire.

12. New York Yankees: They aren't winning with him having the best season of his year, so they don't need to pay him $25 million a year to lose. It makes sense for everyone for Arod to leave.

13. Minnesota: I wonder how long this team will keep Maurer and Morneau together...

14. Colorado: The most schizophrenic team ever. They have a lot of young stars on this team, they just need to find some pitching that works for their environment.

15. Arizona: They were bound to fall off. Unfortunately for them, I think they may have shot themselves in the foot with this latest swoon, especially when you consider the talent in this division. Only San Francisco is a pushover. They should see what they can get for Byrnes and Hernandez.

16. Philadelphia: I hope Scotty O gets to start in the upcoming Phils-Fish series. There is no difference at all between this year's Phillies and any Philly team over the last five years. Either get Arod and Santana or something, or trade off the high priced guys vets to build a young team around Howard, Utley, Hamels, and maybe Rowand. Why spend $100 million in payroll on a team that can't even make the playoffs?

17. Florida: Well at least their rotation leads the league in something: DUIs. They have been quietly playing pretty well since the all star break, but have no illusions, they'll be very lucky to finish above .500.

18. Toronto: Why do they have Astroturf in the Skydome... oops, the Rogers Center? Its a retractable roof, they can open the thing for sunlight to shine in... Just never made any sense to me.

19. St. Louis: They should have a better second half, but losing Carpenter for a year to Tommy John surgery has pretty much screwed them over for the next two seasons. At least they won one in '06, that might have to satisfy birds fans for a while.

20. Kansas City: They WILL win at least a playoff spot within the next three seasons, I guarantee it. They just need to develop their pitching.

21. Oakland: Talk about your all time stumbles out of the gate...

22. Chicago White Sox: The unluckiest team in the game. They might even finish in fifth place.

23. Cincinnati: Have been playing slightly better under their new manager, although they just got bitch-slapped by the Marlins over the weekend.

24. Washington: Is it 2008 yet?

25. Texas: Texeria would definitely help the Yankees, but they probably won't trade for him. The problem is nobody really matches up well with Texas.

26. Houston: Maybe they should try to see if they can rob some desperate contenders (the Mets maybe) farm system by trading Oswalt.

27. Baltimore: they suck

28. San Francisco: See above. I somehow don't see Barry leaving San Fran after this year.

29. Tampa Bay: B.J. Upton has been playing pretty well fresh off the DL.

30. Pittsburgh: Have been absolutely atrocious after the ASB.